Becoming A Pick-Up Artist

It’s 6:00 AM. I can’t sleep right now so I’m going to post.

Mr. Anthony Stark asks:

Whats up V,

Just read your Jul 21 post and decided that it wouldn’t hurt me to start being proactive in my personal growth (and that includes using all available resource, like you.) I stumbled upon your blog way after you stopped being a AFC so I started reading your posts in chronological order. Unfortunately there are a lot of posts.

So I was wondering if you were starting out today as a AFC wanting change, where would you begin (read, do, etc.) ?

I already decided to kick up my hygiene (flossing), work out, and I’ve read The Game and David Allen’s productivity book Getting Things Done.

I think you’ll recommend The Wisdom of Milton H Erickson and The Superior Man, but what other books do you recommend?

Respect,
Mr. Anthony Stark

If I was starting out . . .

1. I’d get out of the television and get back to reality. They call it television PROGRAMMING for a reason. You are not Tony Stark. You are NOT Iron Man. Try just being you rather than pretending to be someone you’re not.

When you get this mindset that you’re something you’re clearly not then you get delusional. When you get delusional then no one wants to be around you.

When it comes to delusional look no further than Ross Jeffries (the guy sports a Green Lantern ring . . . ). Once you find out Jeffries’ tricks, which are pretty good, and that he’s pretty much in this community for the money then you move on to better people and better things.

Here’s a clip from the movie Network. It does a good job at explaining the power of the television:

No computer will ever match the power of your brain. No human could never recreate the human body from scratch. Rather than marvelling at your own body you aspire to be something from Marvel Comics?

They say most people only use 10% of their brain. I’m willing to say that most people use 0% of their brain. Much of society are given patterns to follow; they go to school to learn the pattern of 9-to-5 and they watch television to be be given patterns on how to behave (i.e. what’s appropriate to wear, to be politically correct, what to eat, etc.).

Do you want to LIVE your life (thinking and analyzing life) or do you want to be just another walking dead (just following the approved pattern given at that moment)?

2. I’d get out of being labeled. When you say, “I’m an AFC” then you’re saying that you’re a frustrated chump 24/7. When you say, I’m a PUA” then you’re saying that you’re a pick-up artist 24/7.

You’re an AFC at the moment you’re buying a group of unknown girls a round of drinks. You’re a PUA at the moment you’re leaving the club with the most beautiful girl there. It’s only at that moment when you’re those things.

Do not label yourself when you are trying to figure out who you are, cause you’re just boxing yourself in.

3. I’d work at keeping myself healthy. Your health is most important, both physically AND mentally.

Learn about appropriate nutrition, figure out your budget, and buy what you can afford. Treat yourself to what’s “unhealthy” every once and a while, cause you’re human.

Study Ericksonian techniques and NLP to learn about manipulation and persuasion. This strengthens your mind against the bombardment of manipulation by people, television, advertising, etc.

You are the gatekeeper to your own mind, so protect that mind of yours.

That’s more than enough for you to work on at this moment.

Your life is for you to decide, so start making decisions before someone makes them for you.

—

If you, the reader of this post, have any questions then send an e-mail to:
v [at] becomingapua.com

Question from Sound Connection:

Hey man,
Whas up?
Maybe you can help here…
Im a beginner, how should a person start NLP from beginning to the mastery?
any help is appreciated
Thanks!

NLP is the popular method these days, but I’d suggest you master Ericksonian techniques.

I’ve been reading a bit about Milton Erickson (which NLP is modelled after) and I’ve seen where many of these pick-up artist “gurus” have copied their information from. Erickson is dead on with so many of his findings, which have been well studied, that it’s a waste to learn much else.

Before you get all excited thinking you can become a master with ease I’d like to inform you that Erickson dedicated his life to his art. Are you willing to make a similar dedication?

If you are dedicated to becoming a master of linguistics one highly recommended book is The Wisdom of Milton H. Erickson by Ronald A. Havens. This book gives you the best quotes and analysis of Erickson’s techniques.

Read that book, model Erickson, master Ericksonian techniques and you’ll be a master over an NLP master.

—

If you have a question you’d like answered then contact me at v [at] becomingapua.com

My inbox is filling up with the same e-mails; “Why don’t you update the blog!?” I haven’t been updating my blog because at the moment I’ve said enough about myself.

Don’t worry, I’m still working on me. Since I’m taken care of, lets get working on YOU!

Too many hours are spent figuring out how to be successful with other people (friends, girlfriends, etc.) and/or things (video games, trivia, etc.). How many hours do you guys spend a week on YOU?

If you don’t know who you really are then what’s the point with any of this?

By that I mean figuring out who you really are. Not what television or movies tell you who you should be. Not what your family and friends tell you who you should be. Start with a half hour a day. No distractions, no music, just you.

By suggesting that you figure out who you are as an individual I am NOT telling you to be egoistic, cause we all know where this selfishness will lead:

In regards to blog posting I’ve decided to answer people’s questions and post my response here.

You may contact me with your questions at v [at] becomingapua.com

If you wish to ask me something in private then please include a privacy request in the e-mail.

I’ve decided to spend some of my summer learning from the works of/about Milton Erickson.

Erickson’s techniques evolved into what we know as Neuro Linguistic Programming. NLP is much like what the PUA community has become; many “know-it-alls” selling their opinions as fact.

This summer is limited and I can’t filter through all the NLP material out there, but I can get through much of the Erickson material . . . I hope . . .

The first book I’m working through is The Wisdom of Milton H. Erickson by Ronald A. Havens.

Here are some of my notes:

- One of his most effective hypnotic inductions is “Shut up, sit in that chair there and go into a deep trance!”

- He concluded that he should begin to trust his own understandings and not allow them to be distorted “by somebody else’s imperfect knowledge.”

Read the rest

I just finished watching this documentary called American Movie. It’s about a guy named Mark Borchardt who is trying to finish his feature film Coven.

I watched the trailer for American Movie and it looked like a good laugh, so I rented it. I did laugh, but I also learned some things.

One look at Mark Borchardt and you don’t see too much. He looks like someone who came from the 80’s; thick glasses, mullet and interesting facial hair. He’s not eloquent, he’s broke, and his future doesn’t look bright. A couple things he does have going for him are his love for film and a way with words.

Mark uses his passion for film, as well as his way with words, to get help from family, friends, and unknowns. They fund him, film him and even feed him.

He spent three years working on this ~30 minute film Coven. Yes . . . three years. . . . But he got it done.

A lot of people worry about what to say when it comes to talking to girls or even guys. You don’t have to be the most eloquent person to get their undivided attention. Here’s a clip of Mark talking about his love for Burger King as proof:

Be passionate about what you have to say, speak from the heart and you’ll get anyone’s attention.

Get ‘er done!

Here’s the trailer for American Movie for those interested: